i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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