How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
