good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
