I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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