Who did Billy Mays play for?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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