YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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