Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
