I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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