He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
