The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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