"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
