it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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