Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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