we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
