Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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