what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i think my cat just said my name.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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