You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You can't motorboat a personality
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
