i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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