I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
