pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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