Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
