I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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