Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
