Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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