i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
