life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
