Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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