she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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