So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
