Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My cat gives me a boner
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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