I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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