Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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