whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
