Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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