just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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