Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
