so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
