my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
