she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
