Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
