i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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