i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
