he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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