Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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