oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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