A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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