i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
