Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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