12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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