Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
