he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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