Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
