Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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