i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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