She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
