Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't deserve a penis
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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