Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
