haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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