He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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