I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
