U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Everclear isn't food dammit
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
