so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
