so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
