She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
