would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
