Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
