I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize