if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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