Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
