so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
