A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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