a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
