I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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