I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize