I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
